I love words. Their origins, the depth of their meaning and the context in which they are used. The listeners interpretations are based largely on our proper choice of words. I find it interesting how they are chosen to express thoughts and feelings. Sometimes we choose consciously and carefully, sometimes subconsciously and with hidden emotion. Thinking back over the words I've used in my most recent posts and tweets (while working on the elk herd) made me think twice about their use and why I wrote them. Combinations like 'final assault', 'brutal war', 'total struggle'.
Looking back over the last hours of work on the piece I realized what force I applied to the execution of it. There I go again, 'force', 'execution'. I was attacking the thing with a vengeance trying to beat it into submission and to form to my will. Like attempting to tame a wild animal.
I am not at all sure why this happened. I even slept fitfully that night dreaming about the whole days events. My only guess is that it was caused by fear. Fear of giving up control, fear of failure.
In the end I vanquished the forces of darkness and light in that drawing. They succumbed to my bidding. I refused to concede even the smallest bit of control even while that damned thing attempted to steal it at every turn. It seemed that it felt alive in my hands. Then I chose this drawing to work on next?
Sometimes I wax philosophical so please forgive this ranting. It's all part of natural progression, the metamorphosis. I like THOSE words.
1 comment:
Dean, I can't quite come to grips with the vast gulf that exists between those of us for whom a drawing or painting is a struggle, a battle or a war to be won, and those lucky souls who find the whole exercise relaxing and fun. Now there's something to aspire to!
Post a Comment